Snooze….snooze…snooze….da*&*^#!

If you’re like me, you hit your snooze button numerous times, and occasionally, that gets you in to trouble. You have to fly out of bed, make a split-second decision in your sleep-befuddled mind whether to take a shower or not, forgo the “most important meal of the day” for a pop-tart and gas station coffee, all in the vain hope that you might squeak into work without being noticed. It’s pointless. You were noticed. Best to just suck it up, call it in, and take that shower.  You never know who you need to impress!

Alarm clocks have come a loooong way. And have been thrown long ways as well. The old-timey ones used to drive me crazy because I could never figure out how to set them, and then could never figure out how to turn them off. I left one under my pillow and sheets one morning, just to come home 8 hours later to find it still ringing away. That one got thrown as well. American culture is filled with jokes about alarm clocks and how abused they are because of our latent resentment of everything that they stand for. Not that alarms clocks stand for anything, it’s not like they have a platform, but they represent the need for us to wake up out of our deep, healing sleep and go do something that isn’t as fun as deep, healing sleep.  Even people who adore their jobs don’t want to wake up from that.

Now, a lot of us use our cellphones (which we can’t throw across the room) and even the apps for alarm clocks on our app stores are evolving.I have one that I use that not only is an alarm clock, but a nightlight and nature sound maker. I fall asleep to the sounds of wind and rain, and wake up to an angry rooster (he was in the rain and wind all night, apparently) and that app has 48 different sounds! It even has combo nature sounds to take the guesswork out of what you hear. One of my favorites is Garden Pond: its rain, wind, birds, frogs, and windy trees all combined to make you think you’re falling asleep next to a garden pond. It’s probably why I dream of lakes at night.There are also alarm clocks that shake the bed, which is genius for hearing impaired citizens, but would scare the tar out of anyone living in an earthquake zone. Also, a new study suggests that instead of a sound waking us up, lights are better as alarms, as they don’t quite jostle us awake like the sound of a blaring clarion would. I don’t get that. Lights would just make me put my pillow over my head and roll over.

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