Top Ten Movie Monsters
It’s Friday (TGIF!) in October, which means that it’s Freaky Friday! Every Friday in October, I will bring you something ghoulish and disturbing for your reading pleasure. Today’s blog is about monsters. Yes, monsters, the top ten (according to ReStockIt anyway) to be precise. Although there are a lot of worthy monsters out there, I had to narrow it down to ten. And I kept out the obvious “monsters”- Krueger, Vorhees, Meyers, Godzilla…you get the picture. On to the countdown!
10. The Creature from the Black Lagoon
What person older than 35 hasn’t seen this on the Saturday morning Creature Feature? This creature is solely responsible for keeping me out of lakes until the age of 32. Every time I tried to go swimming in a dark, murky lake that I couldn’t see the bottom of, I would just envision webbed, scaly, taloned hands reaching up to pull me under.
9. Uruk-hai from Lord of the Rings
Okay, so they aren’t the conventional monsters I’m sure you were thinking of, but even more than Shelob, they scared the daylights out of me. Big, ugly, mean, and without pain or fear, they are smart, living zombies in my mind. They don’t get tired and they won’t stop until they tear your head off.
8. The Fly
Jeff Goldblum’s Fly. David Cronenberg’s Fly. OMG. He was sexy! And then he was DISGUSTING. What kind of mind-blowing twist is that?? And the fact that he killed you by grabbing you and vomiting flesh-dissolving acid on you is just…blech! I never viewed flies the same again.
7. Pinhead (and the other Cenobites) from Hellraiser
This movie taught me to never open strange wooden boxes. The terrifying visage of the Cenobites, and Pinhead’s deep, British-accented voice reverberating throughout the movie theater (not to mention hooks and chains and…), scared the living excrement out of me.
6. Creature from Cloverfield
Yes, I liked Cloverfield, sue me. The alien was terrifying NOT because it was large, gnarly, and hungry to destroy New York (Godzilla anyone?), but because it flung off offspring like rats fleeing a sinking ship. And those offspring freaked me out! The scene in the subway? Where the intrepid survivors turn around behind them and those things are on the ceiling? CHILLS. And they make you explode…
Okay. You can’t get MUCH scarier than a truly camouflaged , highly proficient hunter that just wants to rip your skull and spine out of you in one piece. And the clicking noises…I hate those.
4. The Thing
Frozen wasteland. No rescue possible. And now there is a spore that turns people into metamorphic maniacal killers. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the poor dog. This movie simultaneously sparked my interest in frozen wastelands and scarred me for life when it comes to watching ANYTHING with dogs that change into freakish creatures, including werewolves.
3. Crawlers from The Descent
I used to like caves. They are quiet, cool, and have gorgeous rock formations. Then I saw The Descent. Yeah, never again will I go into a cave. Ever. Albino flesh-eating blind creatures that can crawl along walls and ceilings? SCARY. The scene where one of the women is standing in a chamber, the lighting is terrible, shadows everywhere, and just behind her, you see this ghostly pale face full of nasty, sharp teeth looming over her…yeah, no caves.
Okay, so they are prevalent nowadays, and probably should have been kept off the list but…it’s the only obvious monster that hasn’t been romanticized in some way. They’re dead, they could be a family member or friend, they never get tired, and all they want is to kill you and eat you. And although YOU can be killed in myriad ways, they can only be killed by separating the head from the body with more force than the average human can generate (they make it look easy in the movies-try cutting through a watermelon on the first try) or destroying the brain, which again, is harder than it looks.
1 . The Xenomorph from Alien
In the movies, space never seems to hold ANY good fortune. Why do we want to go out there when there are things like the Xenomorph’s? From the way they reproduce (chest cavity incubation after implantation via your THROAT) to the way they kill (acid and dual mouths with super skull punching power) they are by far the most terrifying to me of all the space and terrestrial monsters in the movie universe. And they are tall, fast, and can run on walls and ceilings. No thanks.