BREAKING NEWS: If you work in an office building, you may be already dying!
That’s the news out of our nation’s capital today. Health officials have released a statement warning the public of a new virus that’s being transmitted via office bathrooms.
ReStockIt.com has interrupted our regularly scheduled blog post to bring you this urgent message. The full release continues below.
For Immediate Release
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
World Health Organization
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Washington, D.C. – Patient Zero has been identified in what is believed to be the most quickly spreading virus since the 2009 H1N1 Swine Influenza pandemic. The family of Patient Zero has requested that she remain anonymous, for fear of public backlash.
The disease has been dubbed the “The Cubical Plague” and is transmitting most rapidly through the workplace. Many offices across the country have either shut down or are enforcing the government mandate of surgical masks.
However research is now showing that the virus does not appear to be airborne but rather transmitted through contact.
Offices and institutions that currently use bars of soap are strongly advised to switch to liquid or foam soaps and use touchless dispensers such as those found here to help stem transmission rates.
“We felt a joint release was necessary to help spread this message- we believe that great strides must be taken to slow the spreading of this disease,” CDC research Ted Bruski said.” Particular focus must be on the public diligently washing their hands.”
The only information available regarding Patient Zero is that she was Hispanic female in her late 30’s with an otherwise clean medical history.
The patient was declared deceased at 2:17 AM EST this morning after a sudden swelling of the brain and an elevated body temperature. Symptoms appear to mimic those of a variety of ailments, from dengue fever to encephalitis.
Arjay Singh, M.D. will be presenting an hour-long special report this evening on CNN at 8:00 PM EST.
Dr. Singh will be addressing many misconceptions people have regarding the virus, and how to combat it. Spokesperson Marissa Shujman of the Department of Health and Human Services will be joining the show via satellite for her first public appearance since the panic began.
“We urge the President to issue an official statement and assuage public concern over this growing epidemic.” Dr. Singh said. “He should use his platform to take a stance against fear mongers while reassuring the American people that their government has their health and safety in mind.”
“Once again, we strongly advise washing ones hands at every practical opportunity,” Shujman said. “You can do your part by sharing this information via social media. You may save a life.”
Have you already started pulling your hair out over holiday shopping AND shipping? We can totally commiserate with you here at ReStockIt. Not only do we have to make sure our customers get their orders in time, but we all have to make sure our families get their packages too! Here are some helpful tips to get you and your business on the right track for holiday shipping!
- Let your delivery driver know your game plan: No matter which carrier you use, let them know if your hours are changing or how much volume you expect to ship out. A forewarned driver is a prepared driver.
- Make sure packages are ready at pick-up time: Drivers want to go home too, so if you’re ill-prepared for them, you’ll put a kink in their day. It’s the holidays! There should be no kinks!
- Package protection: UPS, FedEx, USPS…they are all kicked in high gear during this time of year. They are pushing packages through sorting facilities and hubs like they are going out of style-so if one of your packages gets dropped…then kicked…then finally picked up, you have peace of mind knowing you packed it like it was Fort Knox in a box.
- Organization and you: Let’s face it. You probably use multiple carriers. Eh, it happens. Make sure you have your packages organized by carrier, placed where they need to be, and are ready to go.
- Don’t Stress! This is a no-brainer. Holidays are busy times, and we all tend to start pulling our hair out by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, but if you plan now, you can avoid the stress of making sure your customer, and you, are stress-free for the holidays.
For your sanity, we have included some links for shipping calendars from the Big Three Carriers.